Feels Like Home to Me

A lot of times, when my Timehop comes up with blog posts of days past, I remember exactly what they were by the title.

Some days, like today, though, I’m not sure. Either way, I go back and read. And always, I remember, immediately, the thoughts and emotions I had on those days.

Today I read:

Saturday night was different, though. I was wide awake thinking of all the people who love me and, more importantly, all the people who love Baby Gray. You see, we had a seemingly uneventful evening at Aunt B and Uncleby’s to celebrate Aunt B’s birthday. As I laid and reflected, though, it was so much more than that.

Baby Gray was showcasing his many talents, and each of the people present–most from Mr. Gray’s childhood and my own–were loving every minute of it. They love our little boy, and they love him well, simply because he is ours. He was the spoiled rotten, cake-eating, Coke-drinking (well, Sprite-spilling), center of attention. He could do no wrong. It was like a yard full of grandparents.
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Although I hadn’t thought much about that night since that night, I remembered it all immediately. I remembered the feeling of picking up where we left off with our friends. I remembered those sticky Sprite feet and how much more they meant to me than that.

Then I remembered a couple of weeks ago when that “grandparent effect” kicked in downtown.

Light Up Kids

It was a glimpse of home. A reminder that this place can feel like home again. I feel confident that it will. We just have to be still and let Him work.

Saturday night was different, though. I was wide awake thinking of all the people who love me and, more importantly, all the people who love Baby Gray. You see, we had a seemingly uneventful evening at Aunt B and Uncleby’s to celebrate Aunt B’s birthday. As I laid and reflected, though, it was so much more than that.

Baby Gray was showcasing his many talents, and each of the people present–most from Mr. Gray’s childhood and my own–were loving every minute of it. They love our little boy, and they love him well, simply because he is ours. He was the spoiled rotten, cake-eating, Coke-drinking (well, Sprite-spilling), center of attention. He could do no wrong. It was like a yard full of grandparents.

– See more at: http://www.thegraymatters.com/2012/06/goodnight-big-moon-sweet-dreams-baby.html#sthash.CjllpkZQ.dpuf

Saturday night was different, though. I was wide awake thinking of all the people who love me and, more importantly, all the people who love Ba

 

A Bad Mother Shut-Your-Mouth

I don’t remember a time I didn’t like to talk. I can talk about anything, nothing, everything. I want to talk about successes, problems, or even how much fun I had with you when I saw you .7 seconds ago. I just like to talk (for the record, I’m also a pretty decent listener most of the time). I like people to know how much they mean to me and how glad I am that they are a part of my life. I don’t like to sit on things.

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Sometimes I need to talk. I need to get things off my chest. I am not the person who avoids confrontation. I would much rather have a conversation, discuss whatever it going on, and move on.  If I don’t have an opportunity to talk to the person and resolve the situation, I start to feel a knot in my stomach. I have conversations in my head. I have even been known to create a resolution in my head just so I can quit thinking about it for a while. I’d much rather say, “I love you, and I’m sorry,” than be right (hard to believe, huh?). 

Other times, I need you (collective, not specific) to talk. I need a response. I need an honest answer. I need to hear with my heart.

 

Be Still

After posting yet another list yesterday, I promised I wasn’t going to turn this place into a bunch of running lists. Who wants to read that? Unless of course, it’s How to Be a Millionaire in Three Easy Steps, or How to Eat Ice Cream All Day for Six-Pack Abs, or something like that. Those are lists people can get behind.

Sometimes, there is just so much on my heart that the surface stuff keeps rising up while I process what’s going on in the deep. There is still so much going on in the depths of my heart as we go through this move–and we’re not done yet!

We’re still in a home where we will be through the transition until our new home is built; then we’ll start another transition. It will be much smaller this time, but a transition nonetheless. I’m so grateful for a flexible child. He has done so well with this!

We’re still in the process of finding a church home–when we still feel like our church is our church home. We love our church family. We love our pastors. We love that community. It’s just not feasible for us to pour in from such a distance. We’ve been visiting other churches. The first Sunday, two thirds of us cried for our church home. It’s slowly gotten easier to visit, but so far, none feel like home yet. We know God called us here for a reason, though, and we feel confident that He will give us a place to call home–even if we’re not quite sure what that looks like yet.

We’re still in a place of transition with friends. I’m so much closer to quite a few, but so much farther from just as many (actual geographical distances, not heart distances). I have realized that living in the country will probably not afford me the community I had hoped for when we moved here; it’s hard to be the hub when we are so far out of the way.

Maybe that’s just it, though. God called us to go. Now He is asking us to be still. I’m not good at still. I like movement, motion, forward progress. In my brain, transition is a time of slowing walking up that hill, the time before you finally reach the top. It’s a time of onward and upward. That’s not always it, though. Sometimes you have to be still and listen. All of these things will come with time; of this I am sure. He wouldn’t have called us here if He didn’t have big plans for us.

Be still

“Be still and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.” –Psalm 46:10 (emphasis mine)

 

Monday Musings

I promise I have no intention of turning this little ol’ space of mine into a constant running list of incoherent thoughts, but sometimes I just have so many things I want to share.

  • In case you missed it, I was over on Jack and Adam’s blog Friday sharing my triathlon story. 
  • I happened upon this piece one night last week, and I have to say, I love the 9/11 analogy she uses. (disclaimer: it’s not a light and airy read)
  • One of Mr. Gray’s AGR brothers got married Saturday. The wedding was a strange mesh of people–one of our lifelong friends; some college friends from undergrad; lot of college friends from A&M; a string of people Mr. Gray knows through work–quite the mix. #tobolatiestheknot
TobolaTiesTheKnot
  • I have not watched a single second of the World Cup. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything. 
  • Sometimes I wish I hadn’t stopped taking piano lessons. I would love to play more. We will have a piano in our new home.
  • I love that when I get in a cleaning mood Baby Gray will join in with me. I said, “We need to clean some stuff out,” and he immediately pulled out his miscellaneous toy box and started pulling out broken toys to throw away. Love it. He cleaned the car out, too.
  • My Hulu queue gets really boring this time of year; what are you watching via Netflix or Hulu?

Not-So-Cinderella Story

As promised on Tuesday, I’m over on the Jack & Adam’s blog today sharing my not-so-Cinderella story of the Skeese Greets Triathlon.

Swim Bike Run

Head on over there and give it a read. 

love the energy of a race day. I don’t always love training, but I love the motivation to get into my training routine. A few months ago, some women were talking about triathlon training. At the time, I had completed one triathlon, and I was currently looking for another with a pool swim. – See more at: http://blog.jackandadams.com/blog/skeese-greets-womens-tri-gray-matters/#sthash.OfeD0Uwb.dp
love the energy of a race day. I don’t always love training, but I love the motivation to get into my training routine. A few months ago, some women were talking about triathlon training. At the time, I had completed one triathlon, and I was currently looking for another with a pool swim. – See more at: http://blog.jackandadams.com/blog/skeese-greets-womens-tri-gray-matters/#sthash.OfeD0Uwb.dpuf

The Shocking Truth Revealed!

A week or so ago, I did another set of two truths and a lie and forgot to reveal the lie. Which did you think it was? I’m about to tell you which one it really is!

1. When I started this running journey, my goal was a 5K. This weekend, I’ll do my second triathlon. I’ve also done a couple more 5Ks, a duathlon and five half marathons. Looking back at my high school cross country career, I can’t believe it. LIE. I’ve only done four half marathons.

Finished!

2. One time I ordered something online and forgot about it. When a handwritten envelope showed up in the mailbox, I surveyed it carefully for explosives and anthrax before opening it. It was a shirt. TRUTH. It was something that came from a handwritten Etsy address with no name. (You could read into this and decide maybe the volume I order online is too high if I can’t even remember what I order; I don’t like to look at it that way.)

Hapy Mail

3. I got the Chicken Pox when I was in first grade. My parents both worked, so they traded the days they stayed with me until I could go back to school. On the first day with my dad, I spent the time learning how to ride the four wheeler. And you wondered why my Renegade Racer was so brave. TRUTH. It was a good lesson. One I’ve used all my life.

Renegade

Was it the one you thought it was? Were you surprised?

Happy Wife, Happy Life

This morning, as I was scrolling through Facebook, I saw this post:

See, if I know anything, I know if I start thinking of complaints about my husband first thing in the morning, I will be in the wrong frame of mind all day. I don’t ever want to complain about my husband–especially not on purpose. I want to honor my husband. More importantly, I want to always make the conscious decision to see him in a positive light, rather than a negative.

Happy Wife, Happy Life

So instead, I’m choosing to share things I love about my husband. (These are in no particular order, and I don’t know how many I’ll do.)

1. He leads our family. Not only does he lead our family, he leads our family well–in prayer, in love, in fun, in humility.

2. He’s an initiator. I’ll get a text a time or two a week about someone he has invited to dinner, or who we’re meeting for dinner. I love it. I want to do life in community, and he gets that. So does he.

3. He’s an amazing father. I can leave and never have to worry about how he’s taking care of our son. He’s even been known to keep illness from me when I’m on a trip so I don’t worry and think I need to come home. He is an encouraging teacher and very hands on. I couldn’t ask for a better co-parent.

4. He gets stuff done. Even if I leave a list a mile long, he gets it done. Our home is taken care of and maintained.

5. He puts others before himself. I don’t just mean our family. I mean others. Anyone who is in need. He helps. He does what he can with what he has.

6. He encourages me. Whether I’m running a half marathon, competing in a triathlon, trying to get more people to read this little blog (really, share it with your friends; it’s okay), thinking of opening a business, or whatever it may be, he encourages me. He’s a good one to have in your corner.

What do you love about your spouse? Have you told them lately?

 

Ten Time

1. I know you’re all waiting to see whether or not I drowned during my first open water swim. I promise I’m going to let you know, but it’ll be Friday. Yes, Friday. See, I was asked to post on the Jack & Adam’s blog, so you’ll have to wait and see.

2. I have not ever been a really big fan of cats. Now, though, I’m in. Converted. Done. 

Why? That’s a GIANT dead rat in our back yard. Dead. Thanks to the cats. 
3. My child has decided to live in baseball pants, basketball shorts, and coordinating jerseys. Most days, I’m totally fine with it. Some days, I miss my stylish kid. He’s so cute in anything, though. And I love the way his face lights up when people ask when his game is. 
4. Between full-service gas stations and full-service laundry places, I kind of feel a little like we moved to the 1950s. (I’m definitely not complaining.) 
5. This broken arm is killing my kid. He just wants to play–restriction free! 
6. I have a dream business I want to start, and yesterday, we fleshed some of it out. Maybe we’ll go for it. 
7. My husband booked us a trip for my thirtieth birthday last night. I can’t believe I’m almost 30! 

8. I think I have hair envy. I see all these wonderful braids and summer styles that are unattainable with my fine hair. 
9. My child loves to sing. It’s so funny how excited he eggs when “his favorite song” comes on the radio. (Check Facebook or Instagram for a video of a recent performance.) 
10. I’m pretty sure Dollar General will take over the world soon. Have you seen how fast they throw those things up? 

Monday Outtakes

The general consensus when it comes to blogging, Instagram, Facebook, and the like is that it’s a totally edited, candy-coated picture of life. A lot of times, it is.

Sometimes, though, it’s the outtakes in life, the parts you don’t really want anyone to see, that are what teach you something.

For example, when it’s Father’s Day and your husband has just finished feeding the calf, that’s not a good time to ask him to take photos of you in your cute romper from London. (Thanks, Jodi!)

 Outtake1
Outtake2
Outtake3
Outtake4

Flattering, huh?

Turns out, he just snaps with the one clean hand he has while he fights off the still-hungry calf with the other–and apparently, I just talk. Any questions about why I’m not a fashion blogger? Nope, I didn’t think so.

Father’s Day Fun

I didn’t procrastinate, I waited until Mr. Gray would be out of his office so my blog email wouldn’t get to him while he was still at work. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

All About Dad

I always think these questionnaires are so funny, so I whipped one up for Baby Gray to answer for Mr. Gray for Father’s Day. And you can have one, too! Just go here to print it! Feel free to pin it or share it as well!