I Just Can’t Imagine

People tell me all the time that they, “just can’t imagine…”

They can’t imagine counting carbs and keeping track of every meal or snack. They can’t imagine going up to school twice a day for a sugar check and an injection. They can’t imagine doing injections four to five times a day. They can’t imagine waking up each night to check sugar levels. They can’t imagine all the packing and checking and extras we needed for our trip to the snow.

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Honestly, I couldn’t imagine it, either, when we received the diagnosis. Now it is our new normal. As with anything, you just assimilate. It turns into your routine. He is grasping pieces of his care on his own as well. We have a tremendous support system. So much of it has become what we do naturally.

I shared it on Instagram and Facebook, and even here in a photo the other day, but I don’t have to wonder what his life would look like without Type One at this point. That’s not his story. It’s not ours, either. It doesn’t mean it’s his life, though. We don’t revolve our lives around the disease or its management. We make it fit in with what we’re already doing. Sure, there are hurdles and adjustments, but by and large, it’s not our only thought day by day. We think about him. About the child that he is; the young man he is growing into; the future he has.

I remember the evening in the hospital parking lot, wrapped in my husband’s arms, when I just couldn’t imagine. Quiet tears trickled down my face. They got faster, sobs became audible. I couldn’t imagine. We couldn’t imagine. But we didn’t have to. We dried our eyes, grabbed hands, walked back down that hall, learned all we could in a short time, and came home, where we don’t imagine. We don’t have to. We live. We love. We laugh. We eat pizza, brownies, and pancakes. We continue to learn. We continue to advocate.

Living any life other than this? I just can’t imagine…

A Little Light Housekeeping

+ Oh, remember the time we went to see Santa? In December? Yeah, about that. Look how cute he is.
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Craziest part of that trip was realizing that he’ll be in kindergarten next year, and we won’t be able to go during the week “when everyone is at school.” Crowds, here we come.

+ We made our almost-annual trip to Kingsville Saturday for the very last peewee pig show (how do these nephews of mine keep getting so old?). Once again, we have a winner!

+ I miss this space. I need to make more time to be in it; I enjoy writing, connecting, sharing. I want to do more here. I have a big rebrand in the works in hopes that it’ll help me get back to this space.

+ Our seventh Purpose Box is on sale now; we have been shipping boxes a whole year! Seems so bizarre! Here’s to many more!

+ Instagram has kind of been eating my blog. It’s a good, quick space to share thoughts right from my phone. Like this:

Last night I shared a piece by @annvoskamp on Facebook about her son’s #T1D diagnosis, and this morning, my sweet friend, @thepiequeen, put some of the words into her beautifully penned journal. Tara and I haven’t been friends for long, but God has used her tremendously in my life for encouragement and digging deeper into scripture. When I read the piece last night, this wasn’t the part that hit me. The indefinite timeline of a life with Type One did. But this morning, in new light, this is the part I needed to take more from. I don’t have to wonder what the boy’s future would have been without diabetes. That was never part of his story. These days were written this way from before he was formed in the womb (Jeremiah 1:5). They weren’t written to hurt us or harm us but to help us draw near. To share Jesus with others. This little world changer of ours is going to do big things.
A photo posted by Jolie Gray (@the_graymatters) on

+ Our trip to the snow was so fun! I can’t wait for next year. The best part? Skiing in actual snowfall–that was a first for me, and I loved it!

+ Ohhhhh–I’ve been meaning to share about a fun little boutique I found: The Charming Moose (Facebook, Instagram). You shop from the comfort of your home every other Tuesday, and then a cute pink envelope shows up in your mailbox with your goodies a few days later. I love my maroon floppy hat, and I can’t live without my olive tunic. (I mean, seriously, I rarely wear things closer together than a week apart, but I wore this three days one week! AHHH!)

A photo posted by Jolie Gray (@the_graymatters) on

+ A home tour. You asked, and it’s coming. Yes, a home tour is coming soon. Sorry to make you wait, but I was waiting on the boy’s new bed, which arrived Friday. Now to get it all up here!

JolieHeart

Say Something

One thing I generally have no trouble with is speaking my mind. When something is wrong, I say it’s wrong. When something is good, I say it’s good. When something needs prayer, I pray; I ask friends to pray.

Occasionally, there are people and circumstances that for some reason stifle my ability to speak out. I don’t say I love you when I do. I don’t say I’m worried when I am. I don’t say I forgive you when I already have. I hold it in. I hang onto it. So far, I haven’t had it be too late. I haven’t missed my chance. I always muster up the courage to get it out in the open, regardless of the risk. But what if I do? What if miss my chance to say something?

My reading today said, “Lord, help me to not put off to tomorrow what I know I need to do today.” Today, I need to say something. I need to speak out. I need to say I love you; I forgive you; I understand. I need to say I’m sorry. I need to say I didn’t mean for it to happen like this. I need to say something.

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Say Something

One thing I generally have no trouble with is speaking my mind. When something is wrong, I say it’s wrong. When something is good, I say it’s good. When something needs prayer, I pray; I ask friends to pray.

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Occasionally, there are people and circumstances that for some reason stifle my ability to speak out. I don’t say I love you when I do. I don’t say I’m worried when I am. I don’t say I forgive you when I already have. I hold it in. I hang onto it. So far, I haven’t had it be too late. I haven’t missed my chance. I always muster up the courage to get it out in the open, regardless of the risk. But what if I do? What if miss my chance to say something?

My reading today said, “Lord, help me to not put off to tomorrow what I know I need to do today.” Today, I need to say something. I need to speak out. I need to say I love you; I forgive you; I understand. I need to say I’m sorry. I need to say I didn’t mean for it to happen like this. I need to say something. 

Gather

It seemed innocent enough. At a local vintage sale earlier in 2015, I purchased a bunting that said, “GATHER.” It was simple, festive enough for Thanksgiving in my scantily-clad living room, and the right color scheme. I purchased it, took it home, and forgot about it. (This is not an uncommon occurrence for me.)

A few weeks later, and possibly the night before Thanksgiving, I remembered the bunting. I retrieved it from its bag and hung it up. I stood back from the mantle and gave it a once-over to see if it was centered. Of course, it wasn’t. I adjusted and looked to Mr. Gray for guidance (his spatial reasoning is much better than mine).

All at once, it hit me. Gather. That would be my word for 2016.

For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them.” –Matthew 18:20

This home we built is a place for us to gather with friends. A church home is a place to gather and glorify Christ. I want to gather with family. Gather in prayer. Gather those who are lost and hurting and bind them to Jesus. I take great honor in being able to play a small part in that transformation. As I have thought more and more about gathering, I think more and more about how God has gathered me. He has mended my broken hearts; applied salve to my wounds. He has shown me how to share a grace that could only come from Him. He has given me words when I had none. He has truly molded and shaped me into who I am today and equipped me to face my day-to-day. He has gathered me into Him and given me grace, peace, abundance. I am able to gather and give out of the overflow. And that’s my ultimate goal.
So here’s to 2016, let’s gather ’round for some coffee, supper, laughter, and fun!
JolieHeart

 

 

Reflect: Settle

Since I started sharing goals, aspirations, words for the year, I have also pretty much always come back with a recap at the end of each year. This year, my word was settle. My goal was to find a groove here in our new town (which is actually our hometown for those just tuning in), find a community to belong to, find a church to worship and pour into. Settle.

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The more I have looked back on this year, the more I’ve seen that it hasn’t mattered what I have tried to settle. What has mattered is what I have handed over for God to settle in me. One of my biggest desires was to have a group of ladies here in town that I could fellowship with during the week, have common interests with, let the kids play while we talked, etc. While I don’t think I even specifically addressed that in my word post, it was a true cry of my heart. And God answered in a big way. I am now part of two different groups of women that have allowed me to settle into place in this community while making new friends (or getting to know them better if we were already acquaintances).

We settled into a church for a bit, but it was much closer to the camphouse and not a long-term fit. We were clear with the pastors from the beginning about how it might all fit together, but mostly it was a good place of rest and respite for us in this season. We have gone back to Rev a few times since, but we know it is not a long-term solution, either. I do believe that God has big plans for us in this arena–it’s coming.

Our new home was finished, furnished, and moved into. Settle. We did. We have hosted and enjoyed this home so much in just the short time we have been here. It was all worth it in the long run.

Our biggest settlement came with our new big change this year–the boy’s Type One Diabetes diagnosis. It is still new in many ways, but we are getting acclimated. Our parents are on-board and so supportive. I truly don’t know what we would do without their help. Even with such upsetting news as it initially was, I believe we are settled into it and ready to advocate, fundraise, fight, and pray until there is a cure.

Overall, I’m good with the outcome. Settle.

By the way, just for fun, here are the top posts from 2015:
Cheers to Nine Years
Type 1, Part 2: Hospitalized
I’m Already Ready Already
But I’m Not Pregnant

Christmastime is Here Again

+ So, Teddy Elf is doing minimal work this year. Maybe he has a lot going on. Maybe he moved recently and is still out of sorts. Maybe it’s just a lot of work to remember to grab him out of the boy’s room and think of something creative for him to do for 25 days. Mostly, as long as the boy knows he is there to help spread Christ’s love, I’m good with it. (For actual fun ideas we’ve done before, check here.)

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+ In other fun news, our wrapped books did not work out this year. He unwrapped a book on December 1st with his Christmas pajamas, but that’s been the only one. On about the 5th, I thought maybe I was ready to wrap and catch up, but I decided to just let it go this year. Maybe we’ll be back to it next year.

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+ I have finally almost finished Christmas shopping. I generally finish near Thanksgiving, but apparently I wanted to drag it out a little this year. I have done almost everything as purchase with purpose or small business, which takes a little more time, but is worth the effort to me.

+ We’re bringing back girls Christmas this year. Somehow it didn’t happen last year, but it’s on again, and I am ready.

+ Since I left the classroom, Christmas has been one of my busier, more hectic times of year at work. Retail marketing will do that to you. This year, since that has changed, it’s almost like I’m actually gearing down and having some family time instead of being ready to crank it up a notch. I kind of like it.

+ Charlie Brown Christmas is live at one of the theaters in San Antonio; I didn’t want to wait until after Christmas to take the boy, but we are booked solid before. Looks like we’ll be extending our Christmas a few days!

Snow Much Fun! Class Treats and Printable

When you forget about a class party, you’ve gotta think on your feet. Good thing I’m all about that.

I needed something cute and quick, and that’s just what I came up with.

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Something snowy seemed easy enough to find, and I happened upon some white cotton candy, which couldn’t have been any better!

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I pulled the pieces apart, stuck ’em in the bags, and came up with a cute topper.

Snow Bags

Snow Tags

The finished product turned out better than I could have imagined. I love that it’s cute and different.

Teddy Elf even packed them all up to take to school Monday! (Teddy Elf has slacked off a little this year, but you can find some of his adventures at #teddyelf on Instagram; I’ll add the rest here soon.)

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Want to print your own? Just head right over here to print.

Snow Much Fun Topper

Cut at the borders, fold, and tape or staple to the bags.

Snow Fun
Hope your Christmas is snow much fun!

Thankful

I am so incredibly thankful for so many things, but here are just a few:

Jesus: I am forever grateful for the love of Jesus and my relationship with Him, which gives me the ability to have healthy loving relationships with others.

Family: I am so grateful for our little family here in our home as well as our extended family and the love and support they provide us. This child of ours is the biggest blessing; he makes life easy, even when it’s not. He is such a trooper. He takes everything in stride. And my husband, oh my husband, this man goes above and beyond to love and take care of us. I am thankful for him each day.

Family Football

Home: This house, y’all. It’s more than I could have imagined. And it’s so much more than a house. It’s our home before I have even finished it or dreamt it all. It’s our home before we have a sofa that matches and our dining room table finished and a guest room that’s more than just glorified storage space. It was not the easiest process getting here, but it certainly was worth it.

Modern Medicine: It’s a new one for us, but I’m so glad it’s here. I’m thankful for our endo team who takes incredible care of our son. I’m grateful for the medications that are available and allow his childhood to look like anyone else’s. I’m appreciative of those who take the time to create hospitals specifically for children and their needs.

Adoption: I know we’re not there yet, but I am grateful for the call in our hearts. It is such an incredible experience to go through this with my husband and then share age-appropriate prayers and thoughts with our son. He is more excited than any of us at this point, I think. I am honored that God chose us.