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But I’m Not Pregnant

Posted on May 14, 2015 by Mrs Gray / 4 Comments

I stood in the baby aisle of Target. I was crying. Quiet tears fell down my face. I was alone and feeling reminiscent of pregnancy hormones. But I’m not pregnant.

I bought baby shoes a few months back. I’m dreaming of nurseries. We’re texting each other baby name ideas. But I’m not pregnant.

I’m clinging tightly to my too-close-to-five year-old and thinking of what a good big brother he’ll be. He talks of a baby sister and twins and having a baby at his house. But I’m not pregnant.

When I was pregnant, it was visible, something people could see. The longing, waiting, and hoping was explained by a bump in my shirt. While we wait to adopt, only a few know about it, and even fewer really get it. There is no outward, physical explanation for my feelings. I don’t even understand it most days.

Why not just have another biological child? Why not be grateful for the child you have?

Maybe there will be a time we’ll have another biological child, but for our family now, that is not how we feel led to expand our family. We are so grateful for the child we have, and it feels selfish that I am longing for another when there are families we know who have none. I have to believe, though, that part of this longing, this desire to have this child home, is part of how God is helping us be ready to accept this child who He has picked out for us. He has placed it on our hearts for a reason, and He is making the way for our family to grow.

This waiting game is so different even from waiting to get pregnant. When trying to get pregnant, there is pseudo-control. There is a 28 day cycle that it operates around that at least lets you know where you are in the game. Of course, it’s a completely false sense, but it’s a sense nonetheless.

So, for now, we’re here: praying, wishing, and expecting a baby. But I’m not pregnant.

2015/end of year gift/gifts/Happy House/Printables/summer

Summer Fun Printable

Posted on May 13, 2015 by Mrs Gray / 0 Comment

It’s the boy’s last day of school today. We couldn’t bid farewell to our classroom friends without a fun little parting gift, of course!

We grabbed a few beach balls, unwrapped them, and rolled them up. I created a cute tag, printed them, and punched a hole. (I usually have him sign his name himself, but he was ready for bed by the time we got them going, so I just printed it.)

Super easy and cute!

Print the tags here. Check out last year’s gift here if you need another idea. As always, feel free to pin or share!

2015/free/Mother's Day/Printables

Free Mother’s Day Printable!

Posted on May 9, 2015 by Mrs Gray / 0 Comment

Okay all you last minute Larry kind of folks, I’m here to help you out! Grab your kids and a writing utensil, print this little gem, and let them fill it out.

Don’t forget to pin it or share it for others!

facial/massage/Mother's Day/Mr. Gray/reviews/San Antonio

Wishful Wednesday

Posted on May 6, 2015 by Mrs Gray / 0 Comment

(I was invited to enjoy a complimentary facial in exchange for a post with my thoughts; all thoughts and opinions are 100% my own.)

Let’s just call this wishful Wednesday. (Or call it lots of strangely lit selfies.)

I wish I were back at April’s studio, Shine Beautifully, about to start my facial.

I wish I were back on that heated table, relaxed under my collagen mask while April worked the knots out of my neck. (Ignore the fact that I can’t wear my bike helmet without creating major stress for myself is a whole ‘nother story. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.)

I wish I were walking around with that fabulous glow that comes after a refreshing facial. (Let’s not talk about the crazy hair; that’s what headbands are for.) All day, people commented on how good my skin looked, how I couldn’t be old enough to have a 4.5 year-old son, and how relaxed I looked.

I wish I lived closer to her sweet little San Antonio studio so I could be there a lot more often. (Something you might not know about me, I would choose a hair/makeup person over a maid or cook any day. I love to be poked and prodded in the name of pampering.)

So, Mr. Gray, if you’re still reading, a gift certificate to Shine Beautifully would be a fabulous Mother’s Day gift! Look at all those wishes you’d be making come true!

Friday/Friday Five/goats/Instagram/Legos/puzzles/writing

Friday Five

Posted on May 1, 2015 by Mrs Gray / 0 Comment

1. I’ve been all over the place this week! Find a post on the second Purpose Box here, a post on being a work at home mama here, and a post on my crazy phone call with the bank here.

2. Our goats like to sit in the golf cart. It’s the funniest thing. (Actually, I think all the things they do are funny. They’re too cute not to be funny.) I don’t want them to make it a habit, but it’s funny until I kick them out.

3. I think I say it every year, but the NFL Draft makes me super emotional. Those guys have worked hard all their life for that dream to come true. I don’t care anything about professional football, but I know that for those guys, they’ve been dreaming of the League for years and years. We didn’t watch it last night, so I didn’t cry (I almost always cry), but I was doing as much Twitter watching as I could without getting Grey’s spoilers in between. By the way, have you seen the movie Draft Day?

That’s how I envision it all going down in real life.

4. Legos are in timeout, and screen time has been cut down quite a bit. I love what’s transpiring!

5. Also, Is Lena Pretty? officially launches today! We got our copy yesterday, and we’re loving it! My sweet husband even shared it on Instagram. He never posts! What an honor! (You can order through my affiliate link here.)

#buildingthegrayhouse/camp house/hospitality/hosting/party/party planning

Are You Mary or Martha?

Posted on April 29, 2015 by Mrs Gray / 0 Comment

Maybe you’re like me. Maybe throwing parties is fun for you. Maybe you enjoy the details. Maybe you get caught up in them. Maybe you plan your friends’ parties for fun. Maybe you like everything to be just so. Maybe you’re like Martha.

You know the one I’m talking about. Martha. She flitted about, making sure things were just so while Mary sat at the feet of Jesus.

Fast forward to 2014 when our family moved into a one-bedroom camphouse. We’ve been here just over a year now. Our real dishes are stored. Our baking dishes? Also stored. We don’t have closets. We don’t have many cabinets. My usual clutter-free home seems cluttered due to lack of storage. (I have a point, I promise.) There isn’t much way to get anything just so.

Living in this camphouse has not made me want to entertain less. It has not lessened my desire to host people in our home, have parties, have friends over for supper, or have play dates. It has, however, taught me to shift my focus–to be more like Mary. Not all my attention is on decor, details, perfect spaces. I’m able to enjoy our guests, to just sit on the couch and talk. I find myself feeling full and recharged when people leave, as though I spent quality time with them. I don’t feel exhausted, like all I did was rearrange food and make sure things appeared nice.

Of course, when we move into our new home, I will want to entertain, have people over, enjoy meals, parties, and worship together in our new space. I will want to get out my good dishes (you know, the ones that color coordinate for any–and every–event) and serve real food. But I will also want to spend quality time with our guests. To make time to truly sit with them, enjoy, and take it all in.

Being in this camphouse has taught me how to balance between Mary and Martha. How to be hospitable without it overtaking the reason our friends are here in the first place. It’s taught me to enjoy the time in the kitchen or around the grill while we all cook, prepare, and visit. It’s taught me the difference in being part of the visit and being preoccupied with the details of the visit.

I am so looking forward to hosting in our new home. Yesterday, I shared on social media about the prayer time God led me through in the stillness and quiet of our new space.

So much of my prayer in the main space revolved around hosting, worshiping, and sharing that space with others. God directed my heart through the lessons learned here in this camphouse as I prayed. He charged me with using my giftings but remembering what He’s taught me in this time. I can’t wait to experience life in our new home!

#26bookswithbringingupburns/Aggie/Amazon/books/football/Happy House/Purpose Box/Tuesday 10/Tuesday ten

Tuesday Ten: Random Edition

Posted on April 28, 2015 by Mrs Gray / 1 Comment

I find that when I’m missing big chunks around here I just slap it all in a Tuesday Ten. It seems to work. Sometimes I just have random thoughts to throw out there. Again, this works.

1. My friends are the funniest. It won’t let me embed it here, but trust me, go watch right here. How do you pull teeth?

2. We have a couple of fun weekend trips coming up, just Mr. Gray and me. They both involve races, but we’ll have some date nights and time to just hang out before and after. I’m excited!

3. The boy’s school performed at Pops and Nonna’s church two Sundays ago. It was so fun to watch him enjoying himself and being a leader. Kid performances are always funny!

4. As the school year winds down, I am trying to find ways to make this summer better than last. We had such a lack of routine last year, that I am dreading this year being the same. Here’s hoping I can get it figured out!

5. Two of my very best friends have had birthdays in the past week. It reminds me how grateful I am for the amazing people in my life, but also how much I love to celebrate with people.

6. I might be 30 years old, but every time I grocery shop late at night, I feel like I’m in college again. During my undergrad, there wasn’t much to do in town, so we would go to Walmart late at night and shop, look around, just kill time. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to shop at night without being taken back.

7. Another of my great friends wrote a children’s book. It comes out on Friday. You can pre-order or wait until then to purchase. I can’t wait to have a copy in my hand. (I pre-ordered; shop here–affiliate link.)

8. We chose our football tickets yesterday. Who’s ready for September? And why is our first game an away game?

9. I am still reading Unbroken. I took a break, read some other books. I will finish, but man, is it a slow read for me. From where I am now, I can see the greatness in the story. (Anyone else doing #26BooksWithBringingUpBurns?)

10. I have a radio interview Monday for Purpose Box. I’m not sure when it will actually air, but I’ll keep you posted. It’s exciting! Thanks to everyone who has shared and spread the word!

Grey's Anatomy/Hulu/I couldn't live without/Netflix/TV

I Couldn’t Live Without… MerDer

Posted on April 24, 2015 by Mrs Gray / 0 Comment

So, this little link-up of Katie and Lindsay‘s (which I am a day late to join) is going to be the last place I even mention this.

I believe we all know from my mourning at the end of Friday Night Lights and One Tree Hill (I’m not even linking the posts; they’re pathetic; I’m so sappy and attached) that I get a little emotionally involved with the characters in my “stories.”

*If you haven’t watched the April 23rd episode of Grey’s yet, no huge plot reveals are coming, but some spoilers ahead.*

When it comes to shows that I’m not binge-watching on Netflix, I’ve given them a pretty significant chunk of my life. Meredith and I have been friends since college. I can remember accidentally catching an episode during second season and hurriedly finding a season one DVD to borrow so I could catch up (we didn’t have DVR, Hulu, or any of these new-fangled contraptions back then). She and Derek have been up and down. They were finally in a good place. It looked like Shonda was going to let us have a happy ending. Then in true Shonda fashion, she didn’t.

Poor Meredith can’t catch a break.

So while I can’t live without MerDer, I’m pretty grateful I don’t live in a world created by screenwriting and television. I get to live in my little house with my real family and navigate life’s challenges with a Big God at the helm. Even if I do let myself get caught up in some fiction every now and again.

(Maybe I get more caught up than I’m willing to admit. Oops! Haha!)

adventure/Amy's Ice Creams/aquarium/Baby Gray/family day/Mr. Gray

Adventuring

Posted on April 23, 2015 by Mrs Gray / 0 Comment

Sometimes we just pick up and go on a little adventure. It’s good for us to get away, be together, and do something new. (Or, in the case of Amy’s Ice Creams, do something we love. More on that later.)

Saturday, we did just that. It had been an incredibly long week–and it was time for an adventure. We jumped in the truck with pretty much zero plans. We decided along the way that we’d go check out the Austin Aquarium.

It was an aquarium as aquariums go.

We fed stingrays. We read names of fish. We looked for hiding life in the aquariums and terrariums. We had fun. We traumatized our child. What? Yeah.

As we were walking through the aquarium, the boy is a little leery of touching the stingrays, so we are all patient, he builds up the courage to feed and touch them. He’s much more confident when we get to an aquarium he can walk under and sit in a little space with fish swimming all around him. Then we see a hurricane simulator. I know what you’re thinking, “Why would you take a four year-old in a hurricane simulator?”

Why not?

“Stand in there,” we said. He walked in. I walked in. Mr. Gray inserted my last two dollars.

The wind started to blow. Mr. Gray took his cap off. I clutched my purse and looked down to keep my hair from hitting me in the face. The boy didn’t like it. Not one bit. He whined a little. I died laughing. The wind stopped. I was still laughing. He stormed out in front of us both.

“Why’d we go in there?” he demanded. Why not?

I’m pretty sure my hair is still matted together in places. I’m not sure what’s going to happen when the wind blows again in real life.

He wasn’t too upset for ice cream, though. (Is there such a thing? Especially for Amy’s.) He even waited in line on his own and ordered all by himself. I love how independent he is. He loves to order and ask for things without help.

Makes us proud!

2015/Baby Gray/organization/t-ball/team mom/tips/tricks

How to Survive a Dugout Full of T-Ballers

Posted on April 22, 2015 by Mrs Gray / 1 Comment

I’m pretty sure you can take the teacher out of the classroom, but you can’t actually take the teacher out of her. Classroom management was my thing. Apparently it still is.

Our first t-ball game was a little chaotic. The dugout was crazy; no one had a helmet when they needed it; we couldn’t quickly match kids with their corresponding caps and gloves. It was not my style at all.

I remembered going to my nephews’ games and there being a lot more organization. The kids were sitting in their batting order. Everything had a place. I remembered cubbies above their bench (I can neither confirm or deny whether or not this is actually a reality.)

So I made a plan and a trip to Hobby Lobby. I went in looking for hooks I could write their names on and hang on the fence. Then their cap would go on the hook and their gloves, water, and other paraphernalia would go under their seat on the bench. No such luck.

Instead, I found little chalkboards attached to clothespins. They would have to do.

I wrote everyone’s name on their pin. When we make the line ups for the game, I put everyone’s pin behind the bench in order. The kiddos come in, sit down, get a water (I keep a Sharpie in my pocket to put names on waters). Gloves and caps go under the bench (some have started getting creative and hanging their cap on their pin). They sit in their order before and after their at-bat. When it’s time to take the field, all their stuff is right underneath them.

It took a few games, but we have it down now!

(You know, just because he’s cute.)