The last month has been tough. Friday was another landmark day, not a recurring one, but the one-month mark. The signal that we have made it through one month of our “new normal.” Our life after the phone call in the hamburger joint. It’s the first moment I can remember vividly and explicitly knowing in the moment that it was one of those moments that will change everything. It was one of those moments I’d never forget.
In the short time that’s passed since that phone call, I’ve seen God speak incredibly clearly to me. It hasn’t been an audible, booming voice from heaven, but there has been no misunderstanding in what’s He is telling me.
Last week was emotional. Not in a way that is sad, but in a way that is absolutely exhausting–dealing, processing, putting words to feelings–and I’m no where near the finish line on the process. God is definitely refining me in this season.
I was privileged enough to experience a leadership conference in South Carolina last week in an auditorium filled with thousands of people, but the majority of the speakers spoke straight to me. Directly. To our situation and what our family is going through. God gave me that time to begin to process a little deeper with His words and His anointed leaders speaking into my life–right where I am. He is refining me. Refinement is not fun, but it’s what brings the beauty. Cut away the dead; fire up the kiln–neither of those sound fun, but they bring the beauty.
I hope to bring God’s glory through this. I pray I can honor His heart and keep my emotions at bay. I want to take full advantage of this learning experience, lest it be in vain.