Here & There

We’re in a weird place. We’re in that in between space, limbo, if you will.

In a sense, we’re still here: the house we brought our son home to, where he took his first steps, where he learned to talk, count, skip, run, imagine, dream, and play. He’s still small, and there are a lot of memories left to be made. So many firsts, though, they’re here.

In another sense we’re there: where we had a friendship, our first date, our first kiss, proms, our wedding, Baby Gray’s first day of school (both of our first days of school), and so much more.

The worry starts to sneak into this brain of mine. What if it’s the same? What if it’s different? What if we can’t get into a groove? What if this doesn’t work out? What if it does? What if we never live anywhere else for the rest of our lives? What if we have to move again? The worry. Why? Why do I let it creep in? What good does what if do me?

“And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall I wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all of these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” –Matthew 6:27, 31-34

What if does me absolutely no good. None. It’s in the red writing. Jesus said it Himself. If there’s one thing I do know in this whole process, it’s that we have been called to go back to our hometown. It has been laid out as plain as plain can be–several times. God has been good to me in that area. He knew I needed some assuring. 

“The Lord said to Abram, ‘Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land I will show you.'” –Genesis 12:1 (emphasis mine) 
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God didn’t even tell Abram where he was going, He just told him to go. So, I feel blessed to know that we at least know where we are going–and we’re going to family instead of away from it. I know we are supposed to go. To leave what is here, what is comfortable, what we know. I don’t know what He has for us when we get there. I’m anxious to find out. I’m excited to be on this journey–to get to go. I’m honored he would call us to be part of this story. That He has equipped us for what He has called us to–even if we don’t know exactly what it is just yet.

2 Comments

  1. I feel restless often; I need to be better about praying for God's will for us why we ARE here. (I moved a lot as a child, so I get the "itch" every few years. My husband lived in the same house from birth-college, so he's the exact opposite.)

  2. My husband and I both lived in the same home from birth to college, so we are not really movers. We have only moved out of necessity since we have been married (college, jobs). I'm not a fan.

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