I think it’s actually been 366 because of the leap year, but I’m also pretty sure we didn’t actually fully understand it all that first day, anyway. 365 for good measure.
Last year, on September 22nd, we walked into a pediatrician’s office we had never been to before to rule out anything being wrong with our boy. We all went together, the three of us. He didn’t feel bad, he didn’t look bad (we didn’t think; I can see it all over the photos in my Timehop this year), we just had a bit of concern over his thirst. We knew it could be a phase, but we also knew it could be something.
I don’t remember a whole lot about that appointment, but I do remember that it was a feat in itself to get the doctor to check his blood glucose level. Granted, I had no clue what that actually meant at the time, but I knew that it needed to be done. Mamas (and daddies), trust your gut. If you feel like something could be wrong, find out for sure. Don’t take no for an answer. I don’t think I will ever forget the confusion I felt when they told us his glucose were elevated. What did that mean, exactly? Did that mean he had diabetes? What did that mean? What did that look like? What were the limitations? Could he have a snack? He was starving. I remember being in a complete daze while trying to pack bags for a hospital stay in which we were to “be prepared to stay two or three days.” Stay where? Why? Is he okay? Do we go in hyper-speed?
Those hours of not really knowing were so hard. I mean, I had consulted Dr. Google prior to the unofficial diagnosis that sent us to the emergency room at the children’s hospital, but only enough to find bits and pieces that allowed me to rule out any sort of long-term illnesses. And then it was. What do you do with that? How do you unpack it?
I still don’t really know the answer to that. I don’t know exactly how to process the fact that it’s not like a round of antibiotics where X days will make you better. I’m not always forward thinking enough to ensure supplies are stocked through the zombie apocalypse. We read and absorb all that we can about best practices and care. We consult with friends, strangers, others who are living it as well.
People tell me all the time that we are brave, or strong, or “the perfect family for this to have happened to,” but again, I don’t always know what to do with that. We’re just doing what we have to do to keep our son healthy and safe.
Our days look a little different than they did 365 days ago, but our future is big and bright. We know that God trusted us with this boy, this story, this life to bring Him glory. We know this boy was born to be a world changer.