In so many ways, I feel so behind in this space. I feel like I am not giving it the attention I always have. In the past five years (FIVE YEARS next month), I have used this place to record life events, thoughts, feelings, and everything in between. I don’t want to give that up. If I’m being really honest, though, I feel like that about a lot of things in this season. And that’s just what it is–a season. It’s a time where were are little bit up in the air and still a lot in transition.
As the new house moves along, decisions must be made faster, and we are spending more time on that side of town. Sometimes we’re meeting people, sometimes we’re talking and discussing amongst our family, sometimes we’re just walking through, but the fact is, we are working toward being back in a permanent place with a real schedule and real dishes.
I told Mr. Gray the other day that my quiet time with the Lord has been lacking. I pray and read. I listen to podcasts or sermons. But it’s not a focused, directed quiet time like I usually do. I am longing for a chair–a space to call mine to read, listen, write, and just cling to the quiet while I soak it all in. And it’s coming; all of that is coming. This is our season for now. Not forever.
My word for the year is settle, and as much as I am trying, I know that getting to the new house will be a huge part in actually accomplishing more of a feeling of being settled here. Putting down some roots. We’ll move out of this season of transition and into one of more permanence. We’ll settle into routines, schedules, bedrooms, and chairs. I’ll cook again. We’ll have pots, pans, and dishes that all fit in designated spaces. We’ll have some order. I won’t office out of my car. It’s a season. And it’s almost over.
I haven’t come to a place of restlessness yet. I am still even-keeled and taking it one day at a time. For as much as I long to settle, more of me wants to do it right. I want the entire house to be finished before we move into it. I want to start off on with our best foot forward as we begin a new season. I want to feel like me again–with a place for everything and everything in its place. I want to see God use our new home for His glory. I want to invite, to share, to love, and to live in this home He has called us to.