You know those moments when something that seems so simple finally dawns on you? I think sometimes God holds onto those enlightenments until you can actually use them. I’m not kidding myself here; I don’t think He held onto this one so I could write about it. I think He held onto it so I could get it. So it could sink in fully.
At our Night of Worship Wednesday, Cadillac Zak talked about his heart being broken for those who are lost. Some would call it his calling–to seek the lost. My friend danseusean is called to LIFE. Abortion breaks her heart. While these two things are seemingly unrelated, they came together for me in a big bang Wednesday evening: the thing that breaks your heart, physically pains you, is what you are called to fight for in the Lord. I don’t hurt that way for either of those things. It took the clanging symbols I was hearing Wednesday to put it together–our hearts break differently.
I have prayed the prayer many times before, “Break my heart for what breaks Yours…” I want to know what I can do to reach people for the Lord. I think, though, what I learned was that our hearts all break differently–and for different things. We can’t all reach everyone. The Lord uses our strengths, and sometimes our weaknesses, to allow us to reach people for Him. In teaching, it’s called the jigsaw method: we each take a small piece, learn it, study it, and come back to the group something to contribute to the whole. That’s not to say we don’t feel for those who are lost or babies who lose their lives. That’s not it at all. It’s the big heart break, the first-love-can’t-breathe-can’t-eat kind of hurt. So I prayed, “Help me focus on what breaks my heart and work to reach those people.”
I hate seeing marriages and families fall apart. I hate seeing kids lost in the mix. It pains me to watch celebrities make a mockery of marriage. It is disgraceful and disgusting to me. There is a billboard in New Braunfels above a pawn shop (I intend to take a photo every single time I drive by, but I always forget; I did a Google search to see if I could find it since I didn’t have my own photo and found this article with a link to a billboard that is almost identical) that shows a woman flashing her wedding ring with an angry look on her face. The caption says, “Cash in all the bad memories.” I cringe, literally, every time I drive by. It is so sickening to me that people think of marriage as temporary. I want to change that. I want to help people find the light at the end of the tunnel. I want to help them put their families back together. So, for now, my prayer is, “Where do I start?”